Bernie Slutsky

  Inside my heart I dance I am free I am joy I am peace I am love When I leave this sacred place, I can't help but get sucked into a persistent pattern of blaming, condemning and judging those who I feel are being shortsighted and evil I feel righteous in doing so I react towards those who pollute the planet and disenfranchise others. The ones who feel privileged and entitled My instinct is to attack I am in it for the fight  Which takes me down to my knees in pain and despair It feels incredibly daunting How they sneak through the system to attain wealth and power I am breathless in shock and fear And I pray from my head For answers For Relief For Escape For Safety For Change For Rehabilitation I lose my way I am stuck My body turns into a vessel - a machine With no soul It is lost in chaos In fear and desperation I freeze Caution leads the way It ignores my heart And I grasp onto whatever is attractive and charismatic It may be a movie, show, song, food, political figure, or guru

  When I turn away I don't have to see the hatred I don't have to witness the disregard of life There is a break from the grief and pain in my heart over the inhumane rules we live by and the destruction to our planet I don't have to hear made up stories or egotistical banter and nonsense to justify the fear and self centered actions of those who so desperately need to feel privileged  I don't have to see the out of control fires I don't have to watch the videos of people attacking doctors and scientists I don't have to hear about those who refuse vaccination and condemn wearing a mask I think about since the beginning of this country's birth there has been a disregard and brutal treatment of the Native population and people of Color And to this day there is a full court press to keep Black, Brown, Native and people of color from voting When I hear those, who out of entitlement and righteousness, preach that they have individual rights to carry guns in publi

  The booth in the restaurant is spacious and far enough away from the other ones to feel safe from whatever virus is lurking in the air The number of covid infections has decreased and there aren't many diners at this time of day I don't have to obsess over catching covid Besides I have been vaccinated fully My friend sitting across the table whose face and chest that extends from the bench in the dimly lit room isn't He says he's healthy and guarantees it He maintains his slight congestion is allergies I believe him with a drop of doubt I lean back a little on my side of our domain to get some space I am here today because I want to hear what is exactly inside of him, and from my heart, without judgment He's a champion of white nationalism and trumpism I want to understand because until now I carry resentment that I know weighs me down And my ego has a desire to convert and save him He says he wants to hear my views and we agree we both want the same thing That th

  My eyes gaze at the sky The white cotton blends into the grey backdrop I feel a quiver a sense of loneliness inside my stomach It's like a message or a note has been passed to me from above I feel the innocence - the purity - from the space all around and inside me Has been stolen The sky is not as clean as it looks The invisible air isn't so invisible The faces of strangers aren't as trustworthy as they used to be My imperfect world that had at one time been a vessel for me to journey in and seek answers - purpose - and meaning It seems to have stalled When I look at the sky it tells me "it's tired - it can't breath" It is overloaded with all the dishonesty - the narcism - the disregard of life and integrity And this sadness sits inside my core And I ca't hide it anymore Like the sky - I grieve