Bernie Slutsky

  I scrutinize how I spend my time. What am I doing that is making someone else’s life better? Do I self-judge or am I just conscience about how much pain there is out there? When I suffer is it just mine or is it everyone’s? Today I sit with a small, black dog, who got to know me in less than a week, And there is an intense closeness, loyalty, that is mutual, We don’t share the same language It is all trust, faith, and even risk taking, She teaches me unconditional connection I know she means the best And she trusts that I do as well As humans we struggle with trust, unconditionality, and taking risks, We attach to belonging, being noticed, accepted, and avoidance of what isn’t comfortable or what can make us look or seem unworthy, We get hung up with how we are perceived And can’t seem to shake off when we are wrong So, we join a cause, a caucus, a colony, to blend in and feel like we are on the right side We will win and defeat those that are against us We have an identity and a hom

  Journey of the Heart   The open heart is welcoming, healing and sacred It honors my presence It connects me to my soul It comforts the troubling mind It gives me pause when I don’t know where to turn This vast space in the center of my body is unconditional love that forever lasts When this light inside my heart space shines, glows, flows through my body, I am soft, and open to the love, the connection, the intimacy that is in front of me I thrive, I feel alive, and I’m whole   There are the times my mind tells me I am in danger I have been done wrong I am not important I am not up to standards or expectations Or I am being judged unfairly or put in some category that is demeaning That’s when the door of the heart is closed To protect from harm It is free from vulnerability, so it won’t get hurt It is kept safe from intrusion and attack That’s when I’m alone, shut down, and the beauty before me is unnoticed   My heart breaks when I see destruction, condescension, bigotry, hate, and v

My Grief In this pandemic over 150,000 people have died. Over a million people have been infected with the virus. There are countless others suffering lingering effects from the infection. All the lives that have been crushed financially is staggering. It is overwhelming to comprehend the impact, the loss, the devastation of this illness. This could’ve been prevented. The grief and the heartbreak of this is like a tidal wave that rushes over me, knocks me down, and pulls me into a gorge. It is out of control. I am in a place where I haven’t been before. I feel the deepest grief and startling shock. It is so expansive and attacking. I don’t know whether to dodge, duck, or run through it. I have to shut down. Not feel. My brain tells me to just survive. This is too big for you. I think about the losses in my life previously such as relationships with friends that were neglected which ended, significant relationships that didn’t last, and losing touch with colleagues after I left organiza