Bernie Slutsky

  My white skin It's a badge that is stained That plays with my mind I sometimes call myself white But it's only my skin The tragedy is that my whiteness has seeped into my brain and my eyes I view the world through a white lens I see others with different shades of skin  They speak with accents and have unique, even exotic dialects My whiteness tells me they are "the other" My brain says "watch out you are in danger" This how my whiteness sees my world and those who are not white This planet has many colors that capture my heart The lush green foliage in the summer The crystal clear blue hue of the winter sky during a sunny afternoon I can't help but get drawn into the natural beauty of nature When looking up and there is a sudden appearance of a rainbow following a dramatic thunder storm it's almost impossible not to get hypnotized by the spectrum of color up above We live and we exist in living color Every day My whiteness goes way beyond skin dee

My silence protects me from being consumed by the desperate pulsating waves  That run down the inside of my chest and stomach This run away train has been eroding my inner landscape for as long as I can remember It is mysterious and powerful When I dare to take a stand, my actions dissolve into  silence and I sink into a paralysis of numbness and chaos I hide in the dark, lonely, night where I pray for survival I am imbedded into the furniture of a room where I won't be seen Hidden from the eyes of those who won't gaze through me I am not to be found out I reside in obscurity to protect the fragility  Of my delicate psyche  That I've learned to hide  And I run as fast as I can from it This is my cross to bear It feels ancient and is bigger than me It is who I am and more Today I saw a slight reflection of that haunted area My protective shield that has guarded this place inside that I've had no stomach to see, hear or feel has cracked I stumbled upon that part of me tha