My Soul Whispers to Keep Still

 The uneasiness swims through my veins and arteries

My legs are desperate to rise and take off like a rocket

This body of flesh and bones is on alert

It is telling me to beware and be ready

My brain is sending out the danger signal

I lie awake waiting for the next message to tell me what to do

I create scenarios in the hyper aroused mind how I heroically save the day

This is how I get stirred up 

The dramatic attack by American citizens on the freedom of myself, neighbors and others, has me gasping

I felt betrayed after the 2016 election at how anyone could vote for a fascist

And now here are those same people who are rebelling, revolting, rioting against who and what I voted for in the past election

This is an active assault on my soul

When a bigoted, unruly, unreasonable and deluded mob overthrows a government building

When the entire nation holds its collective breath to wait until an inauguration concludes without disruption from its own people

My mind and body tell me we aren't safe

I watch as the entire nation inhales a mega dose of fear 

And become paralyzed in it


When my safety is threatened, I go into hiding

I don't want to feel, see, hear, touch or taste it

Fear is not welcome in my psyche

I have learned to avoid it at all cost

It morphs into hate, anger, irritability, impatience, anxiousness and zoning out

I complain, eat for comfort, obsess over the news, and search for the next editorial that will explain how this will get resolved and how all the bad guys will get busted

There has been a coming out party for some elected officials in the government who are active White supremacists

This additional data in my brain turns the dial up on my reactions 

It massages the fear and drops it somewhere in the center of my body

I try to analyze, debate, cajole, explain away, and even forget that this hateful reality is affecting my life

It is frightening to know that this unfair, cruel, senseless faction of the population actually has a big chunk of power over us

My body wants to fight

My mind tells me to be cautions


And there is a pandemic


The deepest part of my soul whispers to be still 

To listen and follow where the next breath will take me

To settle into and accept this moment right now 

To ride the wild wave of panic

To stare into the haunting eyes of fear

Maybe even dance with it

And breathe


From this deep place inside I rediscover the loving and joyful beam of light that inhabits that sacred part of me

I forget about this when injustice explodes 

This divinity at the center of my core is my home

And from this place I am guided to where I need to go


It takes courage 

To trust my inner being - that pure wise self that rests in the deepest part of my soul

This gives me direction, hope and clarity

To see the light that glows inside all of us

And to live from a place of love

Whose legacy is infinite

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Closing My Practice

  The email said she would like to schedule an appointment for counseling with me. She really loves my approach. She wants to work on relationship issues. I made the decision to stop seeing clients the end of April which is five months away. Why is it so hard for me to reply to this person? To tell her I can't see her. On one hand it feels like I'll be rejecting her.  On the other hand it feels like I'll be shutting myself down. And maybe that's what it is. For so long I've been answering emails and phone calls to schedule old and new clients. There were periods of time where a fair number of requests poured in. And there were times where it was pretty thin. Here it is again one more request.  But now it feels like I will be shutting the door and locking it if I tell her I can't see her. The image of turning the key, locking the door, closing shop lands in my gut. There is a sinking, finalized and empty sensation in the middle of my abdomen. It is a grief, a sad...
Read more

The Changing Season

  The Changing Season     As the season is changing, I notice how the sun is withdrawing It feels like it needs to take its own space It has given me as much as it can I miss it towards the end of the day The energy it gives me is slowly diminishing I feel a loss An emptiness sinks into my stomach Loneliness becomes my companion As I sit in this moment, in the metamorphosis going on in the atmosphere that pulls my body and soul I want to escape It seems too daunting to navigate the dark days that are waiting for me I feel too fragile to enter the cold that will be outside the front door The threat of being alone in this overwhelms my psyche Yet I have been in this isolation over the last several months And I have been able to manage it With the sun, the warm breeze, the parks, trails, lakes, and trees They have been my companions that have provided me unconditional love They have spoken to me, held me, comforted me, and gave me inspiration I want to take these resources i...
Read more

How I Spend My Time

  I scrutinize how I spend my time. What am I doing that is making someone else’s life better? Do I self-judge or am I just conscience about how much pain there is out there? When I suffer is it just mine or is it everyone’s? Today I sit with a small, black dog, who got to know me in less than a week, And there is an intense closeness, loyalty, that is mutual, We don’t share the same language It is all trust, faith, and even risk taking, She teaches me unconditional connection I know she means the best And she trusts that I do as well As humans we struggle with trust, unconditionality, and taking risks, We attach to belonging, being noticed, accepted, and avoidance of what isn’t comfortable or what can make us look or seem unworthy, We get hung up with how we are perceived And can’t seem to shake off when we are wrong So, we join a cause, a caucus, a colony, to blend in and feel like we are on the right side We will win and defeat those that are against us We have an identity and a...
Read more