Trauma

 Trauma

 

I believe we were created from trauma

That was the original placenta

All races, religions, ethnicities, peoples, and beings were born from and into trauma

All my life I’ve struggled with an internal fight

It is still there and sometimes I feel it is me

It makes me cautious, even shy

I can become enraged, emboldened, or frozen and withdrawn

When I welcome the wise part of me to put out this fire, I realize that there are decades even centuries worth of terror stored and filed in my cells

When my history, or my inner sanctuary of oppression, violence, and rejection gets activated

The go to reflex triggers my survival instinct to run, fight or hide

This is the time to become humble

This is when I need to radically become all-loving to myself and those around me

This is when I need my heart to radiate light so I can see the beauty, the tenderness, and feel the joy from being on this planet and to feel the warmth and sweetness of all beings, big and small, Black, Brown, Yellow, Red, or White

We all have been through the pain of trauma

We don’t escape it

We think we do when we try to dominate, control, abuse, and keep others in a submissive role beneath us

But the shallow, false sense of security, only eats away at the core and forces more of the artificial, superficial way of trying to feel good, important, and powerful

This country was founded and built on traumatizing Natives, and Africans

It also traumatized anyone who looked different form White folks

We now have to look at ourselves in our hearts

We need to look way down deep

Into the depths of our beings

Where our own oppressions, traumas started, generations past

We then need to face the trauma of our own country and how it is impacting people of color right here, right now,

And then we need to feel the guilt, the shame, the pain

And we need to stay with it, longer than we think or want to

And then we need to look at ourselves in the mirror

And stay with that

And breath

And then we need to feel our hearts

And open them

And breath

And then we need to go out in the world with that heart open wide

And experience the joy, the love, the healing, the presence, for all beings

Big, small, large, tall

All colors

For this is real

This is you and me together

 

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